Hannah, the goddess of awkward faces:

I love editing the blackmail. 

The crop of good stuff is finding its way here.

23 post beginners.

1.Blogs. Journals. What's the diff?
2.I'm scraping the edges of my brain for posting ideas now.
3.I test and then test and test some more.
4.My back's out of line and the chiropractor is going to twist me like a pretzel.
5.Hallway swimming isn't as glamourous as it sounds. My brother cleans those floors and I promise you don't want to slide around on them.
6.I'm writing a poem about my pile of laundry; I'll finish it as soon as I find my room.
7.Maybe I should start doing spiritual posts on Sundays. That might get in the way of my naps.
8.I have a doctorates degree in time wasting and procrastinating. Or I will as soon as I write my thesis. Eh. I'll do it later.
9.The camera is lonely. It needs pictures.
10.I could probably use all the oil on my face to make oil paints. But I won't, because that would be nasty.
11.I don't think I'll ever fully understand punctuation and maybe I'll just stop trying.
12.My favorite pass time is to not do whatever it is I should be doing. From this perspective, I get a lot done.
13.Raise your hand if you hate racist jokes. Actually raise your hand if you hate anything at all and we can be friends.
14.Everyone thinks my lion shirt is a tiger. Ignorant idiots.
15.Shakespeare is my homeboy. Let's leave it there.
16.Who else likes it when their dad brings home candy from Great Britain?
17.I wish Teacher Appreciation Week was every week. I also wish we didn't have school during Teacher Appreciation Week. I bet the teachers would appreciate that.
18.These are all things that I could post about but probably never will incase you missed that point.
19.I'm addicted to crayons, water and chapstick.
20.Who else names zits? I find it helps them heal faster. My newest friend is called Don Jon the coward. More Shakespeare. Sorry.
21.This part of the school year is like the end of an awful movie. You just want it to end.
22.This part of a post is similarly annoying.
23.Whatever.

Word Vomit

My posts are getting further and further apart. 

It's whatever. 

Here's a story:

Once upon a time, I head-butted a kid. It was an accident.

Now whenever awkward things happen I think 

"At least I didn't take someone out with my face" 

For example:

"I'm too short to reach my scripture cubby in seminary, but at least I'm not head-butting a kid" 

"I'm pretending I know how to play poker, but at least I'm not head-butting a kid" 

"The pin keeping my skirt modest just came undone, but at least I'm not head-butting a kid"

"Every-other song at this dance is a slow song, but at least I'm not head-butting a kid"

"My P.E. teacher just yelled at me for taking all her tampons, but at least I'm not head-butting a kid"

John Bytheway's voice makes me happy. 

Here's a quote I heard from him on Saturday

"For every Nephi that leads, there's a Sam who will follow."

That's quality stuff. 

This post is kind of a mess. 
YOLO.

Lately my best friends are Phineas, Ferb, and my bicycle, Phil. 

Also this cat, which is my birthday present. 

P.S. I got that clever title from this girl. 

laugh

I bet you are a little sick of hearing about how awkward my life is. 

If that is the case, you should probably get used to it 

My life is awkward enough to fill three books. 

Here's an example:

I hope you don't think this picture of my knees is too scandolous. 

Also, yes I know I am pasty, that's not my point. 

Look at that bruise there, 

That's what I get for thinking I can iceskate. 

I named it Kevin in  honor of the poor kids who tried to prank call my friend. 

Lets just say we don't take pranks easily. 

More recently, and by "recently" I mean today, 

I learned something about myself. 

Laughing is a joy. 

even when it is at myself. 

"those who laugh at themselves will never cease to be amused"

-Unknown

And lets just say, I was pretty amused today. 

I  woke up to find my friend had given me a present. 

That present was a cold. 

And since it's the season of giving, 

Mother Nature gave me a present as well. 

Yeah. 

I decided to sleep in instead of do my hair and makeup. 

In sacrament meeting I used up all my mom's tissues,

and realized that a panty liner is no longer enough for me. 

After sunday school I walked home.

I may have been walking around without pants for a while looking for the tampons.

I was pretty happy that all the neighbors were at church. 

When I got back to church 

only a few girls looked at me funny for walking in

 when there was only 5 minutes left of the lesson left. 

About that time, I looked down and realized that I had stepped in dog poop on the way back. 

Even dogs want to give me things. 

And just as the cherry on top, 

I get to speak in the stake fireside  tonight. 

On the bright side. 

I will die laughing.

But probably laughing at the thing I died of. 

Life is good kids. 

Laugh a little bit, it makes things better. 

More awkwardness and some screen shots

Lets just say there have been a lot of these things lately:

I still don't know if I am going to pass this test. 

Also, for your enjoyment, and because I am sick of looking up states and capitals tests online,

Here are some awkward happenings of late:

I've become a marriage counselor. It's fine.

My parents know more about my life than I do. 

A kid stole a note out of my pocket and he may or may not have been in it.
Now I know why ladies used to wear nothing but skirts and dresses.
Can you say Awkward?

I wear an unusual amount of polka-dots to YW in excellence.
Basically my reasoning is this;
I want to wear this skirt.
I also want to wear these tights.
They don't match.
Wear them anyways.

I got myself some "swag" in the assembly today from the star of the show
American Ride.
Buffs that say BYUtv on them are pretty cool.

People look at you funny when you hide in the Relief Society room
drawing a map of the United States on the bored.
I do whatever I can to study.
Speaking of which;
I have found the best way for me to study.
I quiz someone else who knows nothing about the subject
then while they try and figure out the answer I scream it at them.
It's quite effective.

Well here's to awkwardness kids.
I have a new definition of Awkwardness are you ready?
JR. HIGH

the definition of awkward.

Prepare yourself kids. There are no pictures in this post. 

Here's a challange; Define Awkward in 2 words.

My definition: this weekend.

Lets just say there was a lot of ping pong

and snowball fights

and sean the sheep.

and apples to apples.

with just a little bit of power puff girls thrown in there. 

Also, today my goal was to be out of bed at 8:00 am

lets just say I didn't quite reach it. 

9:30 is cool too.

No shave November is my best friend.

So are tights

(I'm going to let you put those two together)

My mom may or may not have been a little disappointed 

when our "special state conference" wasn't because Elder Bednar was coming.

The North Field stake got him. 

Brother Keech is pretty cool though. 

Apparently I have inherited my fathers phobia of dirty, slimy water.

Pretty much slimy things give me the creeps. 

I have to wash things off in the sink with a spatula. 

It's fine. 

I'm torn between having a social life and wanting to stay at home in sweat pants all day. 

Lucky me, with my friends, I can do both.

But it is still a little weird to leave your friend on the couch with your laptop 

while you are in the shower.

combustion man gave us a visit.

Me and Hannah made destroyed a cake. It was sweet. It had pineapple, it also fell apart. So did the kitchen. I call it Hurricane awesome. I ate mine in the pineapple jar, Hannah was not so cool. She did the plate thing. Also to make it even better, we did it while listening to Mumford and Sons. Win. Also, I decided I will never be a food photographer (or a cook) Also, I have been reduced to tracking down old followers and begging them to come back. If you are reading this, but not following. Please do me a favor. Sometimes its ok to be a follower.